Summarised and Translated By Abbas Abu Yahya
All Praise belongs to Allaah and Praise
and Peace be upon the one who was sent as a mercy for all the worlds and
upon his Family and his Companions.
This hadeeth is one of the rarest
authentic Prophetic hadeeth regarding strong exhortation to be good to
women, being gentle with them, being patient with them, having a concern
for them, encouragement not to divorce them, and to remain with them
until death even if you have been her companion for a long time. Even if
she has produced all the offspring that is possible for her, you should
not divorce her unless you are certain (that it is the best thing to
do), or it is impossible to live with her. Now we will look at this rare
hadeeth and some of its benefits.
It has been collected by Ibn ‘Aasakir in
‘Tareekh Dimishq’ from Yahya bin Jabir from al-Miqdam bin Ma’dee Karib
al-Kindi that the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– stood amongst the people and praised Allaah and exalted Him and said:
‘Indeed Allaah advices you in the
strongest possible terms to be good to women, indeed Allaah advices you
in the strongest possible terms to be good to women, advices you in the
strongest possible terms with regards to women, indeed they are your
mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts (father’s
sisters) and your maternal aunts(mother’s sisters). Indeed a man from
the people of the two books (Jews & Christians) marries a woman and
does not hit her, each one of them continues to desire his companion
until he dies in old age.’
Abu Salmah said I narrated this hadeeth to al-Ala bin Sufyaan al-Ghassanee who said:
‘Indeed it has reached me that from the evil hidden sins which Allaah has madeHaraam,
which are not clearly mentioned in the Qur’aan, are that a man marries a
woman and when his companion becomes old and she has stayed with him
for a long time, and has produced all that her womb can, then he
divorces her without any reason to do so.’
Shaykh Albaani mentions:
‘It is collected by Tabarani in
‘al-Mu’jam al-Kabeer’, Ibn ‘Aasakir in ‘Tareekh Dimishq’. And this Isnad
is Saheeh.’ [Silsilah Saheehah No.2871]
Then he quotes al-Harbi:
‘The intent is to encourage the one being
advised to have a concern for women, to have patience with them. i.e.
and that the people of the Book behaved like this with their women.’
Shaykh Albaani said:
‘This is how they (The Jews & the
Christians) used to behave when they had manners, and were religious,
even though they followed a religion that had changed, as for nowadays
then they prohibit that which Allaah has made permissible of divorce,
and they openly make Zina permissible! !’[1]
This hadeeth is a clear refutation
against those who do not treat their women in a good way. It is a
reminder to everyone who is deceived by the so-called rights of women in
the west!
From the benefits of this hadeeth:
1- Advice to be good to women and that the Messenger –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam–repeated this three times to emphasise this point: he said:
‘Indeed Allaah advices you in the
strongest possible terms to be good to women, indeed Allaah advices you
in the strongest possible terms to be good to women, advices you in the
strongest possible terms with regards to women . .. .’
The advice of being good to women and living with them in a good way is mentioned in the Book of Allaah Ta’ala.
Allaah Ta’ala said :
<< And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good. >> 4:19
Imam Bukhari mentioned a chapter in his
Saheeh : ‘chapter Advice with regard to women’ then he mentioned a
hadeeth from Abu Hurairah –RadhiAllaahu anhu– from the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– who said:
‘Whoever believes in Allaah and the last
Day then he should not harm his neighbour, and I advise you strongly to
be good to women, indeed women were created from the rib bone, and the
most bent of the ribs is the top one, so if you tried to straighten it
you would break it and if you left it then it would still continue to be
bent, so I advise you strongly to be good to women.’
In the wording collected by Muslim from Abu Hurairah from the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– who said:
‘Whoever believes in Allaah and the last
Day and testifies about a matter then he should speak good or remain
silent and I advise you strongly to be good to women, indeed the woman
was created from . . . .’
2- Then the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam–
explained that this advice is not specific for a certain type of woman.
He explained her relationship with the Muslim male, thus she is a
mother, and what will make you aware of what a mother is? The advice
which is given concerning being good to the mother, is what you already
know and is not hidden from you.
Bukhari -Rahimullaah- mentions another chapter heading:
‘Chapter: Who of the people are most deserving of good companionship?
From Abu Zur’ah From Abu Hurairah –RadhiAllaahu anhu– who said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah who from the people is the most deserving of my good companionship?
The Messenger –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– replied: ‘Your mother.’
The man said: ‘then who?’
The Messenger –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– replied: ‘Your mother.’
The man said: ‘then who?’
The Messenger –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– replied: ‘Your mother.’
The man said: ‘then who?’
The Messenger –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said: ‘Your father.’
[In another narration the man’s name was
mentioned clearly as is in ‘al-Adab al-Mufrad’ by Bukhari from Bahz bin
Hakeem from his father from his grandfather [Muwaweeyah bin Haydah] I
said: O Messenger of Allaah who . . . . . . . . the next closest
relative then those closest after them.’]
[Collected in ‘Adab al-Mufrad’ no.3, Tirmidhi and ‘Irwaa al-Ghaleel’ 829/2232, declared Hasan by Albaani.]
In this narration there is an extra
benefit which is the wording: ‘the next closest relative then those
closest after them.’ Which can be used as an evidence for having good
companionship with the wife, the daughter the sister and the aunt, and
no one can doubt how closely related they are to you O Muslim slave of
Allaah.
As for the saying: ‘The most deserving of
my good companionship?’ Which means who are the foremost people with
whom I should fulfil favours for, be good to and honour. Good
companionship is connected to being gentle and kind, having good speech,
having good dealings, implementing good manners all of which Islaam
brought forth and has encouraged.
Al-Hafidh Ibn Hajr said in ‘Fath’ that Ibn Battal said:
‘This warrants that the mother should
have three times as much as the father, and that is because of the
difficulty of pregnancy, then that of the delivery, then that of
suckling, these things are specific to the mother and the hardships upon
her, after which the father participates in the upbringing of the
child. This was also indicated in the saying of Allaah Ta’ala:
<< And We have enjoined upon man
[care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in
weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two
years.>>[Luqaman:14]
So Allaah equated the mother and the
father in what is bequeathed, however, Allaah singled out the mother
with these three things, pregnancy, giving birth and suckling the child.
• She is a wife, as has been mentioned in the texts[2], likewise the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said: ‘The best of you, is the one who is best to his wifeand I am the best to my wife and if your companions should die then make Dua’ for them.’
Albaani said in ‘Silsilah Saheehah’ no. 285, ‘it is collected by Tirmidhi, Daraqutni and Ibn Hibban from ‘Aeysha –Radi Allaahu anhu. Its Isnaad is authentic upon the conditions of Bukhari and Muslim.’
Here the wording means ‘wives’ due to the hadeeth in which the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said: ‘The most complete of the Believers in their Eemaan are those who have the best manners, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.’
Shaykh Albaani said in ‘Silsilah Saheehah’ no. 284, ‘it is from the hadeeth of Abu Hurairah –Radi Allaahu anhu– collected
by Tirmidhi and Ahmad and the first part of the hadeeth is collected by
Abu Dawood, Ibn Abee Shaybah in ‘al-Musannaf’, Abu Na’eem in
‘al-Hileeyah’ and Haakim and he said it is Saheeh upon the conditions of Muslim and Dhahabi agreed with him.’
• She is a daughter and there are Ayaat and Ahadeeth[3] which explain the advice of being good to daughters. As for the Ayaah it is the saying of Allaah Ta’ala:
This is the advice of Allaah for being good to daughters, so that they are not neglected, as they were in Jahileeyah.
So much so that at that time they used to bury their daughters alive.
Likewise, it was not as the enemies of Islaam behave today (with their
daughters), by only looking after them when they are young, but when
they reach maturity they leave them to the streets to deal with
themselves, astray, struggling in depravity and committing vile and
shameful deeds in the most disgusting manner and offensive form, the
like of which the history of mankind has not known.
The Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said:
‘Whoever has three daughters
and was patient with them, fed them and gave them drink and clothed
them from his wealth then they will be a screen for him from the
Hell-Fire on the Day of Judgement.’[4]
Bukhari mentions in a chapter heading in
‘al-Adab al-Mufrad’: ‘Chapter whoever is responsible for supplying
sustenance for two daughters or even one.’
In the narration of Ahmad:
‘No one has three daughters, or three
sisters, or two daughters, or two sisters, and he fears Allaah regarding
them and is good to them, except that he will enter Paradise.’[5]
From Ibn Abbas from the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– who said:
‘There is no Muslim who has two
daughters, and he has good companionship with them except that they will
cause him to enter Paradise.’[6]
She is a sister, a paternal aunt
(father’s sister) and a maternal aunt (mother’s sister), and they have
all been mentioned with the advice of being good to them.
As for the paternal aunt and the maternal
aunt then Islaam has encouraged Muslims greatly to have good relations
with them and to be good to those who are the closest of relatives and
then the next and then the next. No one can doubt that the paternal
aunt and maternal aunt are connected to a Muslim from the direction of
his mother and his father, therefore the paternal aunt and maternal aunt
are of the same status as the mother and the father. Due to this, it
becomes obligatory to have good relations with them and to be good to
them and to honour them.
The Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said:
‘The maternal aunt is of the status of the mother.’
Collected by Bukhari, Ahmad and Abu Dawood.
Tirmidhi mentions in ‘Sunnan Tirmidhi’:
‘Chapter: being good to the maternal aunt, with a chain to al-Bara bin
‘Aazib from the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– who said:
‘The aunt is of the status of the mother.’
Tirmidhi said: ‘And this hadeeth has a long story behind it and it is Saheeh.’
From Ibn Umar –RadhiAllaahu anhu– who said: ‘A man came to the Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– and said: ‘Indeed I have committed a major sin, is there any repentance for me?’
The Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said: ‘Do you have a mother?’
He answered: ‘No.’
The Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said: ‘Do you have an aunt (mother’s sister)?’
He answered: ‘Yes.’
The Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam– said: ‘Then be good to her.’[7]
In Sunnan Darmi, from Ibn Umar who said:
‘a maternal aunt is of the same status of
the mother, and a paternal aunt is of the same status of the father, a
niece is of the same status of the uncle, and every relative is of the
same status of his relation who is the equivalent thereof, if that
person is not an inheritor due to the way they are related.’
In Sunnan Daraqutni, from Sha’abee who
said: Ziyad bin Abu Sufyaan said to a person who would sit with him: ‘Do
you know how Umar judged regarding the paternal aunt and the maternal
aunt?’
He said: ‘No.’
Ziyad said: ‘Indeed I am the most
knowledgeable of the creation of Allaah about how Umar judged them, he
placed the maternal aunt at the same status of the mother, and the
paternal aunt at the same status of the father.’
3 – The Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam–
encouraged his Ummah with the advice of being good to women, to honour
them, to look after them, and to be patient with them in a general sense
and especially with the wife. Just as you would like
your daughter, or your sister, or your paternal aunt and your maternal
aunt to be honoured, and it would make you happy. In the same way you
should honour someone else’s daughter (who is your wife) she is like a
captive given to you and she has given the flower of her life to you.
4 – The Prophet –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam–
mentioned in the above mentioned hadeeth that the people of the two
books (Jews and Christians) would honour their wives, and a man would
remain with his wife all his life, loving her and being good to her,
this is despite the fact that they are the people of sin, disbelief and
Shirk. Therefore, O Ummah of Muhammad you are the people of Deen, Taqwa and Istiqamahtherefore you should be the foremost in adopting these great manners.
[1] Silsilah Saheehah no. 2871
[2] From Abu Huraira who said: The Messenger of Allaah –sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam–said:
‘Every person from the children of Adam is a master, so the man is the
master of his family and the woman is the mistress of her home.’ No.
2041
[3] From Anas who said: There was a man who was with the Messenger of Allaah – sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam –
and the man’s son came, he kissed him and sat him on his lap. His
daughter came and he just sat her next to him. The Messenger – sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – said: ‘If only you had been just between them!’ No.3098
[4] Collected by Ibn Majah, Bukhari in ‘al-Adab al-Mufrad’ & Ahmad. Albaani declared it Saheeh in Silsilah Saheehah no. 294
[5] This is the wording Bukhari mentioned in ‘al-Adab al-Mufrad’ & in his ‘Saheeh’.
[6] Collected by Bukhari in ‘al-Adab al-Mufrad’, Ibn Majah, al-Hakim,
Ahmad & Ibn Hibban. Albaani said it was good. Silsilah Saheehah no.
2776.
[7] [Collected by Tirmidhi, and declared
Saheeh by Albani and in the wording collected by Ibn Hibban and Hakim:
‘Do you have parents?’ ‘Saheeh Targheeb wa Tarheeb’ p.658 no. 2504]
Source:Sahab.net
